=o !!

Dear Santa...

Dear Santa,

This year I've been busy!

Last Tuesday I ruled Iran as a kind and benevolent dictator (700 points). Last Saturday I bought porn for naa (-10 points). In October I ruled Canada as a cruel and heartless dictator (-700 points). In March I bought porn for nekofuyu (10 points). Last Monday I caught a purse-snatcher who stole mustangactor's purse (30 points).

Overall, I've been nice (30 points). For Christmas I deserve a new bike!

Sincerely,
Hakura

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If there was ever a point in my life where I've not wanted to live, this is it

Plain and simple I have hit rock bottom and I dont know how much longer I can take this. Let me explain a few things because it's a long winded story starting over 2 years ago.

On July 5,2003 my dad passed away suddenly without us having any idea he was ill. Hard times came after that as my mom did not have a job and I had to move out because there was no way to support us both. So I moved to Barrie Ontario, which at first was great, but I soon got to see the true faces of my family members I didn't even know. I began to hate it and got super depressed and needed to come home. So I used my credit card for that, and thats where all hell breaks loose.

So I come back to Winnipeg and Arlene's mom with the giving heart she has, let me stay with them for some time. During that time I had a little trouble finding a job, let alone one with enough hours. Eventually I find one at Best Buy, and then I'm asked to move out, so ok thats cool I move out.

So during this time I'm making little small payments on my card while balancing out my rent and by bills. Easy you think? Hell no. Not with the wadges at best buy. So I go looking for a new job and land one as a tech support agent at Convergys. All is good for a while but now I just get sick going there. I get insulted for being Canadian, yelled at for no reason, have to listen to people bitch over the phone, and I just can't take it anymore.

I can't really explain it in any other way but stress, extreme stress. I would go there get sick to my stomach, hands cramp up, throw up, and have fear of knowing what going to happen. So eventually I stop going and just going in when I wanted to while I look for another job. I just can't take this stress any more. On more then one occasion I thought of taking my own life, and the only thing that brought me out of it, was how sad I would make everyone else.

But now, now things are different. I have been looking for another job, and still only making tiny payment to my Visa. So this morning I get the lovely call from the Royal Bank right. It's this lady from the legal department, and she is threatning to take $315 from my account to pay onto my Visa. So I spend 30 min talking to this bitch saying that if she does this I'm going to be out of a home. And I guess this lady thought I was lying or something. I have never hear someone be so uncaring in my life to actually say "I don't care" in responce to that over the phone.

I haven't been to work in a week, I have no moneny coming in I calculated all the money I have and knew that I would have enough for 2 months rent+bills while I go and look for another job. Well...not anymore. Be cause after I got off the phone with the bitch I looked at my bank account and the ass too out $315 with out telling me she was going to do it.

So now...well I'm in a state of desperation. I sold my World of Warcraft gaming account on Ebay for $420 canadian just so I will have enough money to pay the bills. I can only hope it arrives to my account in time. I called and left a message with my team leader practly begging to still have my position at work even just for a little while as I look for something new. But I get so sick working there, I get physically/mentaly ill. I throw up, have bad pains in my stomach/head/eyes, cry for no reason, I just can't take it I need to get out of there it's really making me sick and I can't take the stress and now with this added on I don't have a choice and I don't know what to do.

I have been hyperventelating ever since I got off that call, and I've called everyone I know just to talk, I just need someone to talk to, and no one was home. Not even my mom, I left her a message though. None of my close friends were online either so I came here as a way of release.

Now I'm just hoping that something happens, I can only hope they will let me stay there until I find something new, but I get so sick there, however at the same time I don't have a choice. So I guess I will just have be sick for the next little while. It's either that...or no home to live in....

On last thing, after that call I swear I almost didn't care about anything at all. I went into my bathroom, and I grabed the full bottle of Tylenol and I thought about it, I have never done that before and it scares me a lot. So I threw it down and now here I am writing this, I need to get this out somehow and there is no one around.

But please Arlene, Bev anyone, if you are around today please give me a call I need company like you wouldn't believe even just a hug anything. I just need to talk to someone.
  • Current Mood
    scared scared

Bored ;-;

Just writing here cause I'm bored at work -_- Everything is so slow today and I have like nothing to do lol

I wanted to ask a question to my fellow WPGers, I don't work on Friday and I want to know if you guys want to get together and do something ;-;

Don't really have a preference on what to do but I wouldn't mind getting together and watching some anime or something @@

Other then that life has been boring ;-; nothing new to report ;-;

Advent Children Release date for NA XD

Hell yeah! Even though it's going to be a few months before I can get my hands on a real legit dvd copy at least there is a date now ^^

http://www.animenation.com/co11795.html

Remember to buy it everyone ^^ If you don't you are INSANE as this is the best piece of video game cinema EVER ! XD <3<3<3<3 Also I decided to make a an Music Video for Advent Children =D Got the song and idea all in my head! Muahaahah gonna be fast-paced fun XD

Anyway so excited about the DVD and I'm glad everyone enjoyed watching the movie last night ^^

Advent Children RULES!

I just downloaded and watched FF7 Advent Children and OMFG it was SO bloody awesome!!! Tifa's fight = WOW Cloud, Vincent everything was PERFECT. And the wheelchair dude is voiced by Roy from FMA's voice actor XD

Arlene you HAVE to see this!! I don't work tomorrow (Thursday) want to come and watch it? OMFG it a FF movie the way it was ment to be ;-; I love it!

OMG A update =D

I almost forgot I had this lol but at least I have a reason to update it.

After much debate on wether I wanted to or not, I applied for the Tech Support job over at Convergys. I was assked to come in for an assessment and then to come back for an interview the next day =D I was kind suprised but welcomed it. Turns out, I got the job ^^ I start training there on Aug 2nd and I'll take things from there. @@

Starts off with 10$/hr so that beats my current 8$. Seems to be a decent place to work according to all the people I know that work there. Bev, Ryan, Landon and who knows else =D So should be an interesting development @@

At least making a bit more I can start to pay of my credit card a bit more, and Convergys even helps with your tution if you go back to school =D